Jungle Sayings

1.     A whisper can go around the earth. 2.     Angry Phantom is fearful to behold. 3.     As for shooting, he can knock the flea off the ear of a warthog at 100 paces without hurting the beast. 4.     Be wary of the Phantom, 'For he moves like lightning and the earth trembles with his might'. 5.     Biggest tree makes most noise when it falls. 6.     Call the Phantom anywhere, and he will hear. 7.     Cold voice of angry Phantom can chill tiger's blood. 8.     Don't fight a stell trap, get out of it. 9.     Feared by evil men everywhere. 10.  Furious Phantom is sight to behold. 11.  Great cat is quick - Phantom is quicker. 12.  Guardian of the Eastern Dark. 13.  He moves faster than a great cat, with the power of a charging bull elephant. 14.  He who comes to Keela Wee without love is buried there. 15.  If Phantom comes to destroy Gullique, there'll be a double rainbow in the sky. 16.  It is said tigers freeze when the eyes of the Phantom blaze. 17.  It is terror for the evil man to awake in darkness and see The Phantom. 18.  Man who cannot die. 19.  Man who looks Phantom in the face will surely die. 20.  Next to the Phantom, the jungle cat moves like molasses. 21.  No man can refuse the voice of the Phantom. 22.  Nothing likes to get hit on the nose. 23.  Only a fool crosses the Phantom. 24.  Phantom freezes your blood, makes cowards out of strong men. 25.  Phantom has cunning of fox, strength of ten tigers. 26.  Phantom has strength of ten tigers. Phantom is made of steel. 27.  Phantom has the wisdom of elephants. 28.  Phantom hits harder than lightning bolt. 29.  Phantom is quicker than a cat. 30.  Phantom is tall as tree, strong as ten tigers, moves like lightning, can be a dozen places at once. has lived for 400 years - cannot die. 31.  Phantom moves as silently as a fog. 32.  Phantom moves faster than the eye can see. 33.  Phantom once killed four tigers at same time barehanded. 34.  Phantom steel fists dart like a bee - hit like a bull elephant. 35.  Phantom will never refuse a challenge. 36.  Phantom's steel hands can break men like straws. 37.  Pirates to Phantom, like red flag to bull. 38.  Rugged? Is there anyone more rugged, hunting tigers with spears, wrestling gorillas? 39.  Some say he uproots great trees barehanded - I do not doubt it. 40.  The cold voice of the Phantom can freeze the blood. 41.  The Ghost Who Walks. 42.  The Phantom has a thousand eyes and ears. 43.  The Phantom is a man of few words, but wiser than Solomon. 44.  The Phantom is many men. 45.  The Phantom must be of the blood of the Phantom. 46.  The Phantom's great stallion, Hero, moves on the wings of the wind. 47.  The Phantom's life is a lonely one. 48.  'There are times', the natives say, 'when the Phantom leaves the jungle and walks the streets of the town as an ordinary man.' 49.  When the Phantom asks, he expects an answer. 50.  When the Phantom is angry, let the tiger beware. 51.  When the Phantom is rough, he is very rough. 52.  When the Phantom moves, he moves. 53.  When the Phantom moves, lightning stands still. 54.  Where the Phantom is, the law's long arm reaches even to the halls of princes. 55.  In Phantom country It is said that a woman clad in jewels may walk without fear.

Rediscover the Don Draper Within

Your dad was manlier than you. His dad was manlier than him. And so on, for all of history back to the Stone Age.

I’m thrilled with technology, the Enlightenment and feminism. But with all those improvements we lost a little self-reliance, some ability to protect – some manliness. And no matter how many hoodied nerds become masters of the virtual universe, without manliness we’re going to die as a species. Because being a nerd will never get you any action.

Sure, you could be progressive and buy your son a doll. But he'll thank you if you're more old school and teach him to hunt.

When a pipe broke at Pete’s party on “Mad Men,” and Don Draper ripped off his shirt like Superman and fixed the sink in his undershirt, no guy watching that show got lucky that night, since every one of us is a metrosexual liberal who immediately calls the plumber. It was the meanest thing any broadcast has done to its own audience since Orson Welles’s “War of the Worlds.”

I got messed up by my feminist mom in the 1970s, who taught me that gender was a social construct. I can’t believe that social experiment went on as long as it did, since it’s clear by month six of having a child that William does not want a doll. Ladies do go first. We are not free to be you and me. We are born different. As soon as my son was old enough to crawl, he pulled a jar of mustard from the pantry and pushed it around the floor making car noises. We bought him a closetful of stuffed animals, but he sleeps with a Matchbox car clutched to his face. He'll sleep with a doll when they make one with an internal combustion engine.

We can’t solve this man-crisis by sitting on a couch watching “Ice Road Truckers.” We’ve got to start fixing our own toilets, exercising outside at 6 a.m. and hunting the meat that we cowardly eat from far crueler factory farms. Otherwise, the tribe down the street might raid us and pillage our apartment.